A not-so-tearful M with PancakeWhen I see the slow trickle of a tear out of M's eyes, I know, I just know, she is yearning, and heartbroken for what...or who has been left behind. Often in these times of solace I will ask M, "What is wrong?" "Are you sad?" And the common response is, "Nutting (Nothing)."
... Two days ago she actually admitted she missed Ethiopia....she missed her Grandmother. I wanted to tell her, "You will see her soon." or, "Lets call her." But I knew and know, this is not true and not an option...I can, and did say, "Let's write your Grandmother a letter." Then, the guilty sinking weighted feeling at the pit of my stomach throbbed... and throbs with the most likely truth; that the Grandmother will never receive M's letters....It hurts my heart to know I can not fully help.... I can not fix the pain that M is feeling.
I cannot fully understand, or comprehend what she is feeling.... it must feel something like the death of a loved one... I do understand that feeling. Maybe, it is not quite that strong of a feeling, yet...but when it is completely understood in her little heart and mind the full reality of "coming to America" I think this is what she will feel.
M is adjusting well, beyond what we could ever have hoped...but the truth is, there is still a lot of hurt...a lot of pain that she will have to process throughout her life. I know M belongs to Christ and through him she and we will make it through all of this together.
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