Waiting

The song “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller is from the Movie Fireproof.
When my husband and I saw that movie, back in October this song really spoke to me.
The movie was excellent and obviously not about adoption, however, the words to that song is what I needed to here....

I am trusting God while I wait, I am hopeful, in this painful time, but patiently, I wait. I will move ahead confidently, trying to be obedient. I will serve you God, while I wait. I will worship you. I’ll be running your race even while I wait. I am peaceful waiting on you Lord. It’s not easy, but faithfully I will wait. I will serve you, I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord.

So, this is often my prayer.
Oh, how I fall far from these words,
but sometimes this song reminds me
of where I need to be and what I need to be doing.




~You can view the John Waller Fireproof video below
its the one on the far left of the video bar below~

TO BLOG, OR NOT TO BLOG, THAT IS THE QUESTION....

The stubbornness in me was fighting the whole idea of blogging. I don’t have time to read blogs, much less write them. Several months back (5 ½ months to be exact) in our adoption process, I was told, “This is when most people start blogging”. I still couldn’t fathom who would really have the time to do this, why they would want to, and who would read them.

In the midst of life… trying to GET my house clean, then KEEP it clean, laundry, homeschooling, errands and activities where in the world would I have the time for blogging and why would I? I know God is sufficient. Through prayer journaling,
quiet times, church and an awesome friend & family support, why would I then need to voice my feelings and thoughts for other people to see (if they even cared)?

But for some reason I have this urge to say more, to do more, express my feelings, give a SHOUT OUT to all of you who are in similar situations. I know I am not alone, and neither are you. So, I have come to the realization that maybe this blogging thing is a good thing. A way to get it all out….

SO HERE I AM, BLOGGING...

I have reached a point in our adoption process where the waiting is driving me crazy.

ANYONE ELSE THERE????

Each day I wake up thinking, this might be “the” day we get the call for our referral. Every time the phone rings I jump. I try not to look at the caller I.D. before I pick the phone up, thinking then maybe, it actually might be Gladney on the other end. I go to sleep thinking about the call. I dream about the call. I dream about who our little girl might be. What she will be like (I must admit, some of those dreams are quite odd). I almost feel paralyzed from real life, just waiting. I cannot tell you how many things I have chosen not to do, thinking we may have a new child with us by then.

My husband told me that I am “thinking” about “it” too much. I know he is absolutely right (which is usually the case). But, at least when you are pregnant you have some sort of idea when the child is going to pop out.

I am constantly giving our adoption to the Lord (Phil4:6~ “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”), but in complete truth, I am really good at taking it back away. I do know our Lord will not give me anything I cannot handle (1Cor. 10:13~ “…He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear…”). I know he will provide (Phil. 4:19~ “And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”), I know he is sovereign (Jeremiah 32:17~ Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.”) In the end it will all make sense, his timing is perfect (Ecclesiastes 3:11~ “He has made everything beautiful in its time…”).

So here I am… here we are, waiting...